Can't Cook, Don't Cook
by Forever Free Evergreen
Summary: Prequel to 'Responsibilities and Reasons' R & R
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I do not own Xmen Evolution just the words below._

**Can't Cook, Don't Cook**

Kurt Wagner was known for many things in the institute; a prankster, a teleporter, a blue chimp to Hank McCoy's blue gorilla and one of his personal favourites a walking black hole due to any type of food near his person he will eat, sometimes without pausing to chew. He even freaked some of the residents by eating on the ceiling.

However Kurt had discovered a food type that not even his iron stomach could handle. A type so fearsome that just thinking about it made his stomach do the acrobatic stunts he sometimes does in a private danger room session. Muffins, or to be more specific muffins made by Kitty Pride his best friend that he has had a crush on since they first met.

The girl had just done her first cooking class at school and had sought out the 'fuzzy elf' as she sometimes called him to get his expert opinion on her finished product. Given that he likes her, could not back down after being praised like that and never turns down an offer of free food Kurt agreed to sample one of her muffins.

He barely started chewing it when he realised his _Katzchen_ could not cook. The muffin tasted dry and rubber-like and when he tried to swallow it took several seconds before it past his wind pipe allowing him to breath, during which he had dropped the muffin and ran to the nearest drinking fountain vaguely noting that the muffin he dropped was _bouncing _off the floor.

By evening his stomach was still trying to digest it when Kitty found him again to try out an improved batch of muffins. He was saved by the Professor asking him to round up the team which he did so immediately, according to Scott the muffin he _dropped_ before teleporting had actually left a hole in the floor.

Now, in the early hours of the morning, Kitty was making another batch of muffins to cheer them up after their defeat at the hands of the Brotherhood as a surprise. Kurt only discovered this because his stomach had finally recovered from yesterday and was feeling rather hungry. So now Kurt was hiding in the entryway to the kitchen trying to psych himself up for doing something he knew he would not get out alive; telling Kitty she _cannot _cook.

_Okay Wagner_ he thought to himself._ You can do this. You love her and because of that you must risk death if you vant her to know the truth. At least my death has a beautiful appearance._ Taking a deep breath he moved out the shadows and into the kitchen. _Auf wiedersehen mein freunds._

_Perfect!_ Kitty thought as she removed the batch of muffins from the oven. _Not even 'fuzzy elf' will be able to resist this batch._ She was hoping that by getting Kurt to like her cooking he might ask her to cook more often; however the way he rejected her first two attempts she was not feeling very positive about it.

"Kitty?" said a voice from behind her. Turning round she saw the very person she was looking for, she did not notice the serious look on his face.

_Speak of the devil_ she thought mentally giggling at the literal meaning to the phrase. "Kurt! Perfect timing I've just-"

"Kitty" Kurt interrupted "Ever since yesterday I've been trying to tell something but I'm not good at breaking this to you gently so I'll just say it quickly"

He paused for a moment, trying to pluck up all the courage he had yet at the same time remember all the good times he and Kitty had had. Kitty on the other hand was curious as to what he was trying to tell her. A part of her was hoping that he was going to tell her he loved her but the other part was doubtful after the way she treated him when they first met.

"You can't cook"

That one sentence popped her thoughts so suddenly that she almost did not believe him. The look on his face told otherwise.

"I'm sorry Kitty but you can't cook to save your life"

She just nodded apparently accepting defeat gracefully. Knowing that she was upset Kurt moved past her to make her some hot chocolate she could drink whilst he explained more thoroughly why she cannot cook. He did not make it to the counter before he was knocked out by a muffin Kitty had thrown at him striking the back of his head.

_A/N: In the episode 'The Hex-Factor' how many mistakes did Mystique make posing as the Professor could the others have picked up on? Any curious readers can answer with their review_


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I do not own Xmen Evolution just the words below._

~#~

The first thing Kurt felt when he woke up was a pounding in his head that made him think the Blob had used him as a door mat. Opening one eye he saw that he was not in his room but in the infirmary with Evan sitting in a chair by his bedside.

"Look whose finally up" he joked when he saw Kurt staring at him.

"Vhat am I doing here?"Kurt asked as he sat up, regretting it a moment later when his headache doubled. He felt bandages as his hands went to his head. "Better yet _how_ did I get here?"

Evan blinked several times before answering. "Man. You _don't _remember? You got KO'd by a _muffin_ and the thrower practically renovated the kitchen to include more windows, _without_ glass"

Kurt's eyes snapped open as he remembered; he had told Kitty that she could not cook to save her life then on the way to the cupboard to get the cocoa powder he felt something hit him in the back of the head and everything went black.

"That's not all man" Evan continued "'Cording to Rogue she tore apart her half of the room before Auntie O managed to persuade her to let off steam in the danger room"

Kurt sat dumbfounded. He knew Kitty could throw a temper tantrum over things she could not do, but this took the cake. Or _muffin_ he mentally thought.

"I know you tend to bug one another _playfully_" Evan said, so wishing he could say _flirtatiously_ instead but figured he would let them work it out themselves. "But what did you do to upset Kit so bad she goes on a rampage?"

Kurt was saved from answering by the arrival of Hank McCoy.

"Ah! Our saviour awakens" he chuckled as he looked over Kurt's injury "Apparently you prevented Kitty from killing us via food poisoning"

Evans jaw dropped "You mean to tell me _you_ told Kit she _couldn't_ cook? Man you've gotta be part cat 'cause no one's ever told her she _can't_ do something and lives to tell the tale about it"

Kurt nodded remembering the time Kitty nearly broke Evan's legs when he told her she could not skate board or roller skate. He was saved by Kurt popping up in front of her then disappearing with her, apparently dropping her off in the pool diverting her anger onto himself.

"Well whatever the case I suggest you make peace with her before the next group danger room session" Hank said as he removed the bandages from Kurt's head "Apparently, with Logan absent, Charles is bringing in some extra help for the next mission. Whatever it might be"

Kurt nodded before teleporting out of the infirmary and beginning his search for Kitty. He first checked the danger room for her, then when he could not find her there he checked her room only to find Rogue cleaning up the mess her roommate made. After checking all of her favourite hangout places he decided to quickly pop into his room to grab his uniform only to find the girl in question.

Kitty, still in her Xmen uniform, was sleeping peacefully on his bed oblivious to all around her. He noticed that Lockheed, a little stuffed animal he won for her in carnival a few weeks after they became friends, was firmly wrapped in her arms making him believe that she went by her room on the way to his.

Kurt was torn between watching her sleep and waking her up. He unhappily chose the latter and reached over to shake her gently. Kitty stirred but rolled over to face away from Kurt. Kurt sighed before grinning mischievously as he lay down on the bed beside her. He then wrapped his arms around her small frame his hands going straight for her soft spots whilst his tail attached itself to her upper leg.

Kitty screamed in surprise at the sudden wake-up call before laughter took over her vocals. She desperately tried to escape from her attackers clutches forgetting all about her powers before she managed to turn around and began to attack him. The fight finally ended when the two of them fell off the bed but landing back on it thanks to Kurt's quick reflexes and teleporting.

When the two regained their breath Kitty got up and left for a quick shower whilst Kurt headed for his cupboard to get out his uniform. Before he could open it he felt two arms wrap around his waist and someone kiss the back of his head where he was struck by the muffin.

"Thanks for being honest with me" Kitty said before giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

When Kurt turned around she was already gone, probably through the floor. He chuckled as he rubbed the spot that she kissed hoping beyond hope that, despite the pain, he had to stand up to her again.

_People do crazy things for those they love_ he thought as he resumed what he was doing before he was distracted.


End file.
